


Learn To Live

by blackforests



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-05
Updated: 2011-10-05
Packaged: 2017-10-24 08:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackforests/pseuds/blackforests
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tag to "As I Lay Dying". <i>"Just this one night," Damon whispers.</i> Alaric is determined that there will be no love stories with Damon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learn To Live

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: L. J. Smith and the creators of the show own The Vampire Diaries.

Alaric wakes up with a startle and he rubs his eyes with one hand, as if the action can ward off the drowsiness that is still threatening to overwhelm him. Almost immediately, his honed reflexes allow him to retrieve his cell phone before it falls off the couch due to his sudden movement. Blinking rapidly, the history teacher tries to remember the events leading to his nap on the couch…

Right.

He recalls staying up to wait for a phone call before he accidentally fell asleep from the sheer exhaustion caused by the recent events. Elena had called to inform him of Damon’s near demise and Katherine’s timely rescue. He will not, however, rest easy until he hears the good news from Damon himself.

Speaking of which, he _really_ needs a drink right about now. Preferably alcoholic. And really strong.

“Missed me?” The words force Alaric to avert his attention to the person right behind him. Speak of the devil. The vampire leans against the wall, portraying a picture of fatigue and smugness. Damon looks much better in his cured state and Alaric casually notes the change of attire that is not stained with blood and perspiration.

Alaric can’t think of a time he has felt so relieved. Jenna’s death—he doesn’t even want to go there—and Jeremy’s death _then_ revival had taken a toll on him. He can’t even imagine how he’s even functioning anymore but all he can think of is _thank god_. Damon smirks at Alaric’s expression and adds dramatically with an almost-curtsy, “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.”

“It’s not a joking matter, Damon,” Alaric chides as he walks towards the kitchen. He makes a move to acquire a carton of apple juice from the refrigerator upon noticing the lack of alcoholic beverages. It's odd that sometimes he forgets conveniently about the fact that he’s in the house of two teenagers. Alaric pours the juice into a glass and halts his action with an unreadable look on his face, “But I’m really glad you’re okay.”

Abruptly, Damon utilises his vampire speed to make Alaric settle the carton on the counter and presses his body against the counter. With almost an afterthought, Damon places both hands strategically on the counter, trapping Alaric’s movements efficiently. It seems as though Alaric expects Damon to behave in that way and he does not retaliate. Damon stares into Alaric’s eyes and asks softly, “Are you, really?”

The vampire is close enough to smell his mild aftershave and the distinct, lingering scents of Jeremy and Bonnie. Alaric wants to start his sentence with a “Fuck you”, but settles for an almost exasperate “Yes, Damon.”

He decides that there are many more things he can say but he doesn’t want to give Damon that much leverage over him. It already appears that his life revolves around vampires and Damon is the core of the unfortunate string of occurrences in his life. Alaric doesn’t care enough to inquire about the recent affairs—all the fast-paced incidents and accidents, no matter how exciting they are, are turning into a befuddling bore. Especially after his body was used by a psychopathic monster for a prolonged period of time without anyone noticing a change in his demeanour. It’s really disconcerting, to say the least.

The vampire stares at him with a pensive expression. Damon is like an open book whenever something is on his mind. Alaric tilts his head as an invitation for Damon to speak his mind. The air shifts, and Alaric is uncomfortably certain that he hears something snap in a distance.

“Why?” Damon’s eyes seem to be pleading and his faint, questioning tone is a mere echo of the nonchalant, sarcastic vampire Alaric knows. Alaric reasons that perhaps, Damon is still delirious from the implications of the werewolf bite and tries to shove Damon away, refusing to make eye contact. Damon, however, has another completely different idea, as he forces Alaric to be compliant with a vice-like grip on his left shoulder.

“You had the chance, but you didn’t take it.” The vampire phrases his sentence like a vague, yet, painful accusation.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Alaric deflects uneasily, hoping that Damon will move away from the topic of discussion. The conversation waiting to happen is like a festering wound: he knows that it is inevitable, but even the thought of brushing against it brings fear and hurt. The grip on his shoulder tightens unbearably and Alaric winces as a result.

Damon schools his face into one of indifference but his livid tone betrays him, “You know, ‘Ric. I asked you to kill me. I tried to compel you as my mad-dog-disease-ridden mind conveniently forgotten that you take vervain religiously. But you didn’t do it.”

Alaric opens his mouth, but closes it as his mind searches for something to say. He doesn’t want to tell the truth, but he can detect the fact that Damon is obviously hurting and the contributing factor will probably be Elena. At the risk of sounding completely cheesy, Alaric responds quietly, “I’ve lost enough people.” _That I love_ is left unsaid. He pats the hand on his shoulder, giving Damon a sympathetic smile. Well, he knows what it is like to love a person he can’t be with. Isobel… Jenna…

“Damon?” Alaric prompts, as he observes several emotions flicker across Damon’s face. Damon settles upon a wistful expression and he leans forward, with his face just an inch away from Alaric’s. “Shh,” Damon puts his index finger against Alaric’s lips and places a chaste kiss on his forehead. Alaric’s heartbeat quickens as Damon replaces his finger on Alaric’s lips with his own lips instead.

Stunned, Alaric pushes Damon away forcefully and he succeeds in removing himself from the counter. “What the fuck, Damon?” Alaric bites out, glaring at the vampire with questionable morals. He will be damned if he lets Damon toy with him. Sure, Alaric had probably mentioned it once or twice to his drinking and hunting partner (namely, Damon) that he’s bisexual, but his relationships with men had always been messy and ended with more questions than commitment.

He has seen Damon with his other “lovers”, if he can call them that. They were bitten, chewed and spitted out after Damon was done with them, pun intended. They used to have a tentative business-like friendship but it soon developed into a friendship in which Alaric is not afraid to say that he cares for Damon. However, there is always that tension between the two of them that they refuse to recognise or even name. Jenna had been—oh god, he’s using past tense—a delightful distraction from the confusing and cold relationship he had with Isobel, but Damon is… different. It is a complete cliché to say that, but Alaric feels instantly connected to the vampire despite everything Damon had done to fuck up his life. He can’t really put a finger on it, but...

“I know you want it, ‘Ric. I can smell the lust on you. Seriously, there’s no point trying to hide that from a vampire,” Damon delivers his signature smirk, but Alaric can tell that with the emotions running high from the recent events, the older Salvatore must feel at least a little upset from the warranted rejection. Damon advances towards Alaric again, maybe more unsure this time, his breath hot against Alaric’s cheek. Alaric’s eyes reveal a mixture of trepidation and thrill, and without considering the consequences, he swiftly presses his lips against Damon’s, hard. His tongue battles against Damon’s teeth as it eventually gains entry and quickly explores the vampire’s mouth.

It tastes weird—like stale liquor with a metallic aftertaste—and nothing like he had imagined. Alaric pauses, remembering to breathe, when Damon uses his vampire speed again to force him against the wall, starting another battle in their mouths. It seems like they are fighting over who is dominating in whose mouth, but in actual fact, neither care enough to calculate. They are simply caught in the moment, wanting so desperately to forget about everything else.

Alaric stops again, gasping, “Shit, stop. We’ve to stop. Jeremy’s sleeping upstairs.” Damon gives him an are-you-fucking-serious glare and answers snappily, “Elena’s dear little brother isn’t in the house. Are you trying to kill me here?”

The history teacher stares blankly at Damon as he tries to recall whether Jeremy had left the house without his knowledge. Is he with Bonnie? And since when did he start caring if Jeremy breaks the curfew Jenna started?

Damon rolls his eyes, grabbing the sides of Alaric’s head gently, “Let’s not worry about lil’ old Jeremy alright? He’s probably doing the nasty with Bonnie anyway—” At this, Damon gives a little wink, “Nothing we want to know.”

It is Alaric’s turn to roll his eyes at Damon’s words, but he recovers hurriedly and replies, “Damon, you don’t understand…” Damon interrupts the beginning of a disapproving speech with another innocent kiss to Alaric’s lips. “Yup, I don’t understand, and I don’t care.”

They have nothing to live for. There have absolutely no sense of purpose in their lives if they haven’t encountered the Gilbert family. Alaric would still be mourning over his loss of Isobel while Damon would still be pining over Katherine. The situation at hand doesn’t seem all that different as before, but something has changed, and Alaric knows it without a doubt.

“Stay away from Elena, Damon. I mean it,” Alaric breathes against Damon’s ear as the vampire kisses his neck like a gentle, and yet, passionate lover. So typical of Damon. “She has a lot on her plate right now.” With Damon’s expressive eyes, Alaric is almost certain that Elena and Damon are involved in a complicated equation that he can never solve. Even so, he can still tell from Damon’s kicked-puppy look that something happened while Damon was in his feverish state.

“Let’s not talk about Elena, ‘Ric. She’s probably ploughing through Stefan’s stuff, pining away while my little brother is saving the day, yet again,” Damon pauses, then shoves Alaric onto the couch not-so-gently in a swift motion. Subsequently, the vampire sits down next to Alaric while his hands worked eagerly to remove Alaric’s shirt. “It’s always about Stefan.”

Alaric grabbed Damon’s hands and removed them from his chest calmly. “This isn’t about Stefan, Damon. I think you should leave.”

Damon leans back a little and the cushion sags under his weight. Damon turns and their eyes meet, both pairs reflecting wariness and tiredness. “Why, are you scared?” Damon inquires, but there’s no real heat or sarcasm in the question.

Alaric doesn’t even know how to answer that question. Perhaps he is. Perhaps he is scared of truly opening his eyes again and learning to live a little. There are so many unknown variables in reality and he’s just so wary of all of them. Isobel and Jenna were among his many mistakes while he was fumbling around humanity.

There’s no need to bring another vampire into his crumbling life. Klaus had ensured that Alaric would hit rock bottom alone, while his consciousness was trying to claw his way out from the psychopath’s mind. Sometimes, he has such vivid nightmares of Klaus that the poisonous thoughts are gradually intruding upon his reality. And maybe Damon is just there to remind him of what’s real.

“I don’t know,” Alaric answers honestly. He rakes his hand through his hair and realises he needs a haircut absentmindedly. He’s probably scared, but he’s scared enough during this week as compared to his entire life. He needs to take control again.

“Just this one night,” Damon whispers and his lips meet Alaric’s again delicately. Alaric is tired of being the weak fool everyone loves to use and toss away like garbage. He spins around and presses Damon against the cushion, his right leg kneeling just an inch away from Damon’s crotch. Damon stills but he is then pressing back and kissing Alaric fervently. Blood begins to drip from Alaric’s lower lip where Damon nipped on and the vampire laps up the precious blood and proceeds to removing Alaric’s shirt.

“ _Damon_ …”

This isn’t love and his life still isn’t pretty, but maybe Alaric can learn to live a little.

 

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END.


End file.
